I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
