i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
handjob tips. give me some.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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