When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
