dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
