I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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