To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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