if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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