Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
