I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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