What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
