Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
