This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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