"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Your face is a jimmy john
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
