Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
