eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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