3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
