Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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