He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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