best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
