If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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