I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
My balls are so social today.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
