why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
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