I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
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