I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
