I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
