just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
