i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
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