Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
