Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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