Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
