Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
