his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
