Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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