Can Purell be used as lube?
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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