so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
