the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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