I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
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