I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Boobs are out for the taking
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
