She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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