you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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