Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
