Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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