can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
