Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
