Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
