bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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