Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
