his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
