Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Randomize
