i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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