sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
