i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Even my vagina gasped.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I can't turn off my feet"
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
