idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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