He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
