Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize
