We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Randomize
